5 Ways to Make Your Roommates Your Family

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times......"

I feel that phrase often describes life with roommates in college. Sometimes you have really amazing roommates that you just click with, and other times you have roommates who you want to strangle. In a nice, metaphorical way. But even when you have those roommates, sometimes even the best roommates can have terrible times and the worst roommates can have phenominal times.

Ultimately, your roommates are your family. A temporary family, but a family nonetheless. Familes all go through hard and great times and somehow, we still all love each other too. I have lived with different roommates for quite a while and I have learned a few tricks of the trade to help out with making your apartment your home.

#1: Having Daily Apartment Prayer

I have had apartments that have done apartment prayer. I have had apartments that wanted to do apartment prayer, but never did. And I have had apartments where roommate prayer wasn't even thinkable. I have seen the vast different of apartments and how much roommate prayer affects our daily lives as roommates. Just like how family prayer brings us all together, roommate prayer does the same. We are constantly running around, studying, working, dating, trying to get our lives all together that sometimes, we neglect the temporary family that we have. Apartment prayer is a good opportunity to come together and share a personal, spiritual experience with one another. It gives us a chance to catch up on the things that happened during the day and how we are feeling. The apartments that have done roommate prayer have always had a different atmosphere in them, it feels like home when the spirit is invited. You can make any place a home if you invite the spirit to be there.

#2: Roommate Service

I have always tried to do service for my rooommates, especially when I don't have enough time to personally show my love for them. I will write them little encouraging notes if I know they have a lot on their plate, or even if they don't. I will try to do their dishes if they don't have time or maybe make their bed for them. With service, comes love. It's hardest to do service for someone that you don't love or leaves their dishes out every single day, without fail. But you have to ask yourself what Christ would do in that situation. I have had roommates who didn't even notice when I helped them out. And I have had roommates who eventually noticed after weeks and a friendship that was lacking would finally begin to bloom. I have always loved it when my roommates have helped me out or left me little presents. I had a roommate one time who noticed that our relationship was lacking and knew that I was going to have a long, busy day that I wasn't excited for. She bought me my favorite snack and movie and left an encouraging note for me at the end of the day. It meant so much to me! Although our relationship wasn't everything that I wished it could have been, it was a lot better than it had been before. Service opens up hearts to love and allows us to grow closer to one another.

#3: Going to Church Weekly

Sometimes, it is a little hard to get to church every Sunday. Especially when work and school are piling up and you are running out of time to do things. Or when you don't exactly feel like you belong in the ward you are in. But I have noticed that going to church every week has been a HUGE blessing.

I have just recently returned from China where it was a chore to get to church. It was early in the morning and quite a distance aways and sometimes it was difficult for my roommates and I to be motivated enough to go. But the days that we did go together, I know that we all were able to feel the spirit and talk about the lessons together. We grew closer as we spent time after church and one time even found someone who was later baptized in the church! (Not a Chinese National, he was from America, just to clear that up). Church is the perfect place to get away from the world and be in a safe place away from many temptations and have the opportunity to be taught, partake of the sacrament, and feel the spirit. Being able to do it as a temporary family increased our strength together and we were able to face our trials with courage. It is always better knowing that you have on your side a team of people who love you and hope the best for you.

#4: Cleaning Regularly

The apartments who have been the cleanest--in my experience--have had the spirit more in our home. Having clothes, dirty dishes, and other assortments of things all around the apartment can make life stressful, messy, and difficult to keep the focus on the important things. When I have roommates who work hard to make sure the apartment is clean--to respect each other and to help feel the spirit more--We have always had better relationships. They know that you can't feel the spirit in a messy home because there are too many distractions. They also want to respect each other because they don't want to get in each other's way or to make the environment that they wish to be home, not that. Roommates that clean together, stay happy together.

#5: Spending Time with Each Other

You can do all of these things but if you are just hiding away in your room, you aren't going to have a good relationship with your roommates. In fact, you aren't going to have a relationship at all. One semester, all my roommates and I did was hid in our rooms and work on homework or watch netflix all day. If we needed to go out, we'd do it by ourselves. We were completely independent of each other until the very end of the semester when we finally got to know each other. I wish that I had spent the time in the beginning getting to know them, no matter what it took, instead of being safe about it. The relationship that we could have had in the end would have been so much better than the relationship we ended up with. I always regret not getting to know roommates like family. They are your family for now. They are going to be the people that will be there for you in good times and bad times. It is so much better to live in an environment where people love you. The best way to do that is to spend time with each other.

This semester, my roommates and I have been spending more time than usual together. It hasn't even been a month and I know that if I ever had a breakup (if I was dating someone, haha) that they would be there for me before anyone else with cookies, ice cream, warm hugs, and chick flicks. They would be there for me for whatever might come my way and I know that I am going to do anything for them when it comes down to it. The best way to create a relationship with someone is to be with them and get to know them. Don't idle your time away by yourself when you could be loving and be loved.

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Being in college usually means that our immediate families aren't close by. We need that family support and strength especially in the difficult times in life. We need people who will make dinner with us, who will help us with our homework, who will be peeking out the window when you get home from a date, who will wipe our tears on a bad day, who will laugh with us when we feel completely silly. Surround yourself with people who make you feel comfortable to be yourself around. People like your family. People who will help you grow spiritually and reach all of your other goals. You can make any house a home, you just have to put the work into it that it needs. And any home can become a temple, if you provide the right atmospher for the spirit to be felt. Following these tips is just the first steps to creating such an atmosphere, although I'm sure you will find plenty of other, more specific ways to create a temporary home in your apartment.

Over and OUT-Brin

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